And down…

I’ve been having a decent long stretch of good days. I’ve been very productive with work, with non-work work, been running regularly, sleeping well, and been mostly happy. Today is bent on breaking the streak.

I slept over 10 hours last night. It was not a good sleep. (Don’t all bad days start with bad sleep?)

I remember having a good dream—I had two good friends I used to live with, one of their friends brought over his dogs (big scary Rottweilers) who got along fabulously with me. I must’ve woken up around this time. That may be why I remember the dream. That’s also probably why rest of the sleep was bad. I had a bad cold—the bedside kerchief is a testament to that. The head started clouding over with all the bad thoughts and worries. I had to resort to some meditation exercises to get myself back to sleep.

In the morning, I woke up before the first alarm (5:10), but was in a terrible state—nose and head full of fluid, and body feeling tired. The Brooklands parkrun plans went out the window. I switched off the alarms and went back to sleep. Finally got out of bed at 10!

A bad night was followed by a not so good morning. The loo visit was unfruitful. I skipped this morning’s Duolingo practice. Took the boys for only a short walk. Didn’t even feel like finishing the coffee that R had left for me.

Now I’ve got to go for the Saturday run but it’s warm outside and I’ve got no spirit.

Continue reading And down…

“Live the life you’ve imagined.”

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.”

― Henry David Thoreau

I’ve come across this quote twice in the left 24 hours, in two unrelated places. First, as a chapter cover in the book I finished last night. Then, just now, at the head of a blog post by someone I barely know.

It got me thinking with the first hit. Now, with the double appearance, it seems like a message from the great void.

Time to heed it?

Continue reading “Live the life you’ve imagined.”

Today…

I decided that I like Lexi Grey more than Meredith Grey. I like Lexi. I tolerate Meredith. I hate Alex Karev.

To complete my day’s floor goal, I walked up the steps to the unused first floor a few times after dinner.

I think the boy is bored of hugging me. 20+hours a day may be too much even for him.

I missed home. I missed childhood.

I hated myself for not having any friends.

I reminisced about a day in London, when we walked about on the South Bank, having a drink at a pub, standing out by the river. Back in the happy days.

I had a dream about a girl I went with on a date many years ago. I started reading her blog again recently but the boy is about her new life. The dream was about the time we knew each other, and this common friend we met through.

I watched 8 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.

I didn’t run. I didn’t meditate.

I finished the book. I started another one. This one’s depressing. But it has promise of a better ending. It has a dog.

It’s now been 5 days since I had any non-transactional human interaction. It’s also 5 days since my last workout. It’s 5 days since we had a day without persistent rain and grey skies. And maybe 4 days since I wasn’t terribly lonely and depressed. It’s also 4 days since I had any coffee, Coke zero, peanut butter, or milk chocolate.

I couldn’t break my frozen chapatti into half. It broke into 3. I had to eat the whole chapatti. At least it made a good pie chart.

I just learnt that there’s no spinning class on Monday, nor any yoga class on Tuesday. Easter weekend. There go my one good IRL human interaction opportunities for next week.

Tomorrow is our – me and the boy – last day by ourselves. Tomorrow evening, Dudley arrives for a fortnight’s stay with us. Then a few days later, R returns. Hope the scotch, Grey’s anatomy, and my books last till then.

Because I’m happy

Woke up happy. The book last night had been good, the bed had been better than previous night, and the dream was not a negative one like usual.

Got happier. Someone donated £5.00 to the Clutter Free fund. Thanks Rami!

Got happier. Got the “You’re in” magazine from London Marathon ballot. I’ll finally be running the London marathon after 4 attempts!

And then happiest person around. Kissed and hugged and made up with mi amore. And hugged some more1 :)


  1. Though I really wanted to hug her, and kiss her last night when I was crying and laughing while reading that book. Still, better late than never :) 

I want more bikes a single speed fixie…

I want more bikes…

a single speed, fixie for city riding, likely a charge plug,
an MTB for those times when going off the road is more alluring than staying on it,
a BMX to take to the nearby skatepark and just ride & crash,
a TT bike once I learn to swim and run properly, so I can finally get on with the triathlon plans,
and while we are at it, another road bike or two.

Now, just if someone would drop me a big bag of cash ;)