They cut down my tree 😢

Over summer weekends, I go and spend a few hours every day on a bench on a less used path below the castle. I read, rest, and just be.

Opposite the bench was a beautiful tree with red leaves. I loved laying under the tree’s beautiful red canopy. It was great for my head and heart. It was my favourite place to be when I wasn’t working or with Chewie.

I went to castle grounds today for the first time in a couple of months. It was a beautiful, if chilly, day and I wanted to spend some time in the quiet with my tree.

The tree is missing. All that is left is a stump. They cut down my big, beautiful friendly, red tree 😭

A view from above of my bench. The cut top of my tree's stump is partly visible just on the other side of the wooden fence.

Work from office

Yesterday at work, I hid in the quiet room (door shut, no windows), put on headphones with white noise, sat on the floor, and worked for an hour.
That was my only hour of working with code yesterday.

I’m sure all the “creativity” and “spontaneous conversations” I must be making on my work-from-office days makes up for the hit to my productivity and mental health.

Continue reading Work from office

What’s odd

Saw someone yesterday who, from a distance, felt like was wearing a Napoleon style hat. It really piqued my curiosity.

When I got closer, it turned out they just had a really odd hairstyle worn in a way that could look like a Napoleonic hat from certain angles. Boring.

Made me think how cultural expectations reverse.

Today, wearing a hat like that would be odd but an outlandishly weird hairstyle isn’t. A century (or two) ago, no one would notice the hat, but that hairstyle would get all the heads turning.

What’s odd today and here is probably not there or then.

Disconnecting

I’m on holiday, a staycation, this week. It’s also a big week at work. This thing I’ve worked on for the last year is expected to start rolling out. It’s been hard to disconnect.

First I uninstalled the app from both devices. I’m on an internal release track, and every app update triggered anxiety about whether things had gone out, whether things were still working.

Next deleted the Slack app. We don’t use it at work, but I was on ASG and KS on it, and they’re work peripheral.

Just now, uninstalled phanpy from both devices. It’s the gateway to androiddev.social, which, like ASG Slack, is work peripheral.

I’m finally starting to feel disconnected. The exercise was a reminder of the number of anxiety triggers I have on the two devices. Valuable learning and networking resources, yes. But also anxiety triggers.


Update: Another disconnection – signed out from personal GitHub account in the browser.

I’m scared

I’m scared for me. I’m going out for a longer hike today. It’s expected to be warm. Both the peaks and the final gill descent are rocky/bouldery.

I’m not sure whether I’m strong enough yet. And on the last similar long hike that I did, I ran out of water and struggled with the last descent in dehydration.

I’m scared for my boy. He’s not been well. He’s visibly sluggish. He hasn’t enjoyed the lakes like he used to. He sticks to me when he’s in this state, but I won’t be around today.

I’m scared for R. She has to manage the boy and my mom today. Mom switches between dumb and forgetful, and scheming and pigheaded. She’s a handful even when I’m around. R will have to manage her alone today. While also taking care of my boy.

Continue reading I’m scared

Sunday diary

Cleaned, tightened and oiled the wooden garden bench.

Planted out a tray of alyssum.

Ate amazing pepper chicken for brunch.

Went for a swim.

Ate a full pack of triple chocolate cookies.

Slept an hour, huddled up next to the boy.

Planted the first hydrangea I got few years ago into a bigger pot (this time with ericaceous compost mixed with soil).

Planted three new hydrangeas into medium pots.

Planted two acers into bigger pots.

Ran out of ericaceous compost, so had to stop potting.

Took the kids for a short walk. Then lay in the rec for a bit, enjoying the setting sun, the chestnuts, the breeze, and the soft grass.

Went out for a quick takeaway dinner.

Now lying in the bed with R and two dogs, trying to remember what was that one thing I wanted to do before sleeping.

Still Alice

Another book that’s earned a permanent space in my head and heart. Been a while since I read it yet, ironically, can’t forget the many things in and about it.

Four checkmark day

A screenshot of Garmin connect app showing today's stats. Green checksums indicate completed targets for sleep (8+ hours), steps (10,000+), floors climbed (10+), and weekly intensity minutes (500+).

Finished second week of getting at least a 10K steps daily.

Went for a long walk with the dogs – down the downs and along the river. Went to town to grab a coffee and sit quietly at the café for an hour with a book. Then walked down and up the high street in the freezing cold. Met an old park run buddy ( Charlie) and his owner.

Now resting on the sofa, not thinking about work tomorrow. Instead, still slightly lost in the two books I finished this weekend. Both dealt with loss. One also had a lot of trail walking and outdoors.