Terribly missing my huggsy buddy 😞
Kept drifting in and out of sleep most of the night. There are numerous moments through the night that I remember being uncomfortably awake in. There are also lots of blank spaces between those moments, so I was likely asleep then. It was all too discomforting. I don’t feel mentally rested at all.
It may have been the heat. It could also have been the larger than usual amount of caffeine I had—2 coffees and a Coke zero. The late ice cream and then lounging on the sofa may also have added to it. Latent anxiety and regret from an interview earlier in the day may have lent a hand as well. Though I feel that a combination of the first two was likely mostly responsible.
(It didn’t help that Bruno went and spread out in front of the fan, blocking any air from reaching me!)
Anyway, now I’m wasting time writing this note while waiting for coffee to hit the head so I can start working :/
Tanu weds Manu
I like it 🙂
I was too distracted to read a one minute post, so I read a 48 minute post instead.
I have too many important things hanging in delicate balance. In none of them is the ball in my court. They’re all triggering my anxiety.
Each of them individually is enough to turn half my head grey. Together, they’ll run me bald. The head shave appears foresight now.
This is not good. I’m siwnging every day between happy, optimist, productive periods and long periods of anxiety. I miss my days of steady, productive work.
It even stopped snowing.
I’m not happy.
At least things are back to happy and normal in Stars Hollow. I just wanna go hide there for a little while.
It’s sunny and still. It’s beautiful.
Weight is down.
Good music in the background all morning.
Back up to 3 pull-ups.
Doing ‘new’ work—challenging, sometimes frustrating, but always rewarding and teaching.
I’m loving my bald head.
Today’s a good day.
Score hit 1600 on one page. Up.
Another proposal rejected, apparently withouta second read, by a team marketing solution for second reads. Down.
Spoke to ma pa for nearly 90 minutes. Up.
Had a short, 5-minute angry rant midway. Down.
Rested all day and stretched twice. Up.
Legs are still stiff and hurting, with 10 miles on the training plan tomorrow. Down.
Played and snuggled with boy. Up.
Lying alone on the sofa thinking bad thoughts, when I should be asleep. Down.
Text to R this morning:
I don’t want to go run in this freezing cold.
I just want too snuggle up with the warm bachcha, hot chocolate, hot samosas and watch Gilmore girls.
After a good interval running session in freezing cold:
I’m the next Kipchoge. I’m the new Mary Kitane. I can beat Shelly Ann Fraser Price. David Rudisha is me. Mo Farah wants to be me!
Hormones and all that stuff … :)
All day I worked to stay away from the trouble in the head.
Now the head is too tired to work, and too troubled to rest.
Almost 3 pull-ups!!