Successful tweak – meditation before sleeping

For the last 10 days, I have meditated in bed before sleeping.

I updated my pre-sleep routine. It now starts with meditating for 10 minutes – usually Daily Calm, though yesterday I tried and liked a quiet meditation. Then I massage my feet, ankles and achilles with a massage ball before wearing sleeping socks (keeping feet warm). Finally, I read a book till the eyes shut off – usually 5-15 minutes.

I have been really enjoying this routine. The meditation calms me down drastically. The massage helps the feet stay fitter while I am increasing running mileage (or at least I think it helps). Then I read something – an easy book1 or a few paragraphs of Meditations (Marcus Aurelius).

I have been having really good sleep – drifting into it peacefully, and waking calm. The anxieties from rest of the day have mostly kept at bay. I’m lovin’ it.

Continue reading Successful tweak – meditation before sleeping

Getting stronger…

It didn’t rain today. Mostly. There were passing showers throughout the day, but nothing stuck around long enough.

Spoke to Ma. It was a long chat, and a generally happy one. It was nice to hear her sound cheerful, after 5+ years of sleep deprivation & tiredness, and a few weeks of crying, loss and loneliness.

We went for a run. I ran 7K on the road – to the cathedral and back up – and then took the boys for a lap on the ridge (~3K). It was better than yesterday’s run – legs felt better, faster. Felt a tiny bit stronger.

Continue reading Getting stronger…

A good day

It rained all day. Non stop rain during the first half, and light drizzle with occasional showers during the second.

I’ve made up with rain. Rain and I are friends again. I love rain again.

Watched 2 episodes of Grey’s anatomy. I laughed out so loud on this scene1 that both the boys woke up from deep sleep, and came to check on me!

We ran today. All of us. Through belly deep2 mud, and persistent rain.

It was Dudley’s longest run (7K), Chewie’s (probably) easiest run, and a hard one for me. I last ran a week ago, and I must’ve lost a lot of fitness in this week. This was way harder than it should’ve been. The only two good bits about the run were the boys and the cadence (metronome led). I’m thinking of running again tomorrow.

Cleaning the boys – showers, towelling, hair dryer – took longer than the actual run. Specially if I add in mopping the bathroom, and vacuuming the house. Not counting having to wash my own shoes – road shoes lathered in mud, drenched inside.

Went to town for lunch. Kokoro. Really wanted to go to a coffee shop afterwards. Not for the coffee, but to see, and chat to a friendly face. Didn’t. Bought some groceries from Sainsbury’s, and returned home.

Watched a movie. I think it was called The Judge. It had Ironman in it. I liked it’s small town Indiana location. Not the same as my small town India, but brought up a few good memories. Thought of old friends. Nikhil D, Vikas G, Vikas S, Surinder, Tarun, Vishesh, Deepak T, … Friends from before I knew to value friends.

Washed three sets of clothes – exercise clothes, regular clothes, and cleaning rags and boys’ towels. Also filled, and started the dishwasher. And dusted the bed. Add in the mopping and vacuuming, and I’m a household superhero3!

On vacuuming, funny stuff with Dudley. He’s got a weird relationship with the vacuum cleaner. He followed me around the house while I cleaned, staying close to the cleaning head. However, at the first sign of the vacuum head moving in his direction, he’d jump and run away like a cartoon character. It was hilarious! After noticing it, and testing it, I may have deliberately pushed the vacuum cleaner towards him a few more times, just for laughs 😁

On the other hand, after the initial wriggling, he let me calmly dry him with the hair dryer and brush. Chewie, on the other hand was a nervous wreck. He finally settled on letting me dry his back, bum and belly, but would bolt anytime I approached the front legs, shoulders, chest, or head. Wuss!

The late, muddy, wet run meant the boys didn’t ask for an evening walk. They got their chews instead. They loved the chews.

Chews being chewed, after exchange

Interesting thing with the chews. Yesterday, Chewie picked the stuffed bone, and Dudley got the antler. They took the same from me today. However, when I got to the living room a few minutes later, they’d exchanged them. And they started with their (new) chews for rest of the evening. Didn’t try to sniff at the other person’s at all. Confused.con.

I’ve got a weird back ache. It’s stiffness on one side of the back, running vertically along the mid and lower back. My guess is it’s from the right hugging (and kneeing) I got from Chewie last night. He was probably marking me as his, given it was Dudley’s first night with us.

I didn’t help the back ache though. I slouched on the sofa half the day, and didn’t do any stretches. I’m slouched on the bed now.

Didn’t meditate. Wanted to. Didn’t. Will try again tomorrow. Will probably start again with the free beginner programme.

Didn’t speak to parents. It’s been over a week now since we spoke properly. Bad.

I finished the book. It was ok. It could’ve been good of it was more about the dog, and less about the person. Even the bits about the dog were mostly about the person. They should change the name. Wanted to give it 2 stars. Added one for the dog.


  1. S04E13 The elevator scene. I’m not gonna explain it, in case I pass out spoilers. 
  2. Dudley’s belly. It was black even before we hit the muddy section. Like a two tone mini cooper. 
  3. Or just an everyday woman. Same difference. 

Today…

I decided that I like Lexi Grey more than Meredith Grey. I like Lexi. I tolerate Meredith. I hate Alex Karev.

To complete my day’s floor goal, I walked up the steps to the unused first floor a few times after dinner.

I think the boy is bored of hugging me. 20+hours a day may be too much even for him.

I missed home. I missed childhood.

I hated myself for not having any friends.

I reminisced about a day in London, when we walked about on the South Bank, having a drink at a pub, standing out by the river. Back in the happy days.

I had a dream about a girl I went with on a date many years ago. I started reading her blog again recently but the boy is about her new life. The dream was about the time we knew each other, and this common friend we met through.

I watched 8 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.

I didn’t run. I didn’t meditate.

I finished the book. I started another one. This one’s depressing. But it has promise of a better ending. It has a dog.

It’s now been 5 days since I had any non-transactional human interaction. It’s also 5 days since my last workout. It’s 5 days since we had a day without persistent rain and grey skies. And maybe 4 days since I wasn’t terribly lonely and depressed. It’s also 4 days since I had any coffee, Coke zero, peanut butter, or milk chocolate.

I couldn’t break my frozen chapatti into half. It broke into 3. I had to eat the whole chapatti. At least it made a good pie chart.

I just learnt that there’s no spinning class on Monday, nor any yoga class on Tuesday. Easter weekend. There go my one good IRL human interaction opportunities for next week.

Tomorrow is our – me and the boy – last day by ourselves. Tomorrow evening, Dudley arrives for a fortnight’s stay with us. Then a few days later, R returns. Hope the scotch, Grey’s anatomy, and my books last till then.

Sidin’s 2018 resolutions…

Resolutions:
1. Run a half-marathon
2. Blog
3. Don’t be an asshole
4. Read a lot
5. Podcast
6. Don’t be an asshole despite having read a lot
7. Learn to drive
8. Write better
9. Shave more often
10. Call home more often
11. Walk Hadrian’s Wall
12. Make new real-life friends.

Sidin, on Twitter

As new year resolution lists go, this is a really good one.

I like this even more because it makes me feel good about the number of things on that list I’ve improved on in last few months and years. Here’s some notes:
Continue reading Sidin’s 2018 resolutions…

The law of conservation of inertia

I want to do all these things right now:

  1. Stay in bed with Chewie staying sprawled over my lap, and finish reading the book
  2. Go to my workstation, and start working

  3. Go for Saturday run

  4. Go shit

Law of conservation of inertia states that I’ll stay in the state I’m in.

I can confirm that Newton and Galileo were correct 📖🐶💤🛌😀

Continue reading The law of conservation of inertia

Work days, workout days, both & neither

There are days when all I want to do is workout – swim, run, ride, walk. Whatever it takes to burn some energy, and get me away from staring at the screen.

There are days when all I want to do is work – just sit in front of the screen, and crack on. Something that also gives me an excuse not to go workout.

Today is one of the latter kind of days.

Continue reading Work days, workout days, both & neither

Too good to read

Cleared my Pocket list backlog last week – from about 1200 to sub 100.

Mostly by deleting a ton of articles.

Felt. So. Good.

With a small side effect. The remaining articles are the crem de la crem of my erstwhile long list – articles that I really, really want to read. And this is preventing me from reading them. Afraid that I might finish them too quickly, and be left with the monotony of the average.