Anxiety

Woke up with a low brooding feeling of dread. I’m not sure what it is that I’m dreading. It could be Bruno’s injury, or parents’ health, or something at work, or Tories further changing the country permanently, or Modi further changing the country permanently, or something entirely different.

It’s hard to manage this anxiety when I’m not even sure what’s causing it.

Meh

I’m suffering from lethargy, remnants of a fever, and post-good-vacation-spoiled-by-unrealistically-high-expectations ennui.

We arrived back from the vacation on Friday night. I wasted the weekend under a paracetamol powered haze. Spent this morning preparing for an interview that didn’t happen. The afternoon was a fight between a paracetamol powered haze and the awesomeness of Dark Knight Returns, with my sick partner, Chewie, by my side.

Now I’m sitting here waiting for dinner so I can have dosas and retire.

I’m so meh right now.

Terrible sleep

Kept drifting in and out of sleep most of the night. There are numerous moments through the night that I remember being uncomfortably awake in. There are also lots of blank spaces between those moments, so I was likely asleep then. It was all too discomforting. I don’t feel mentally rested at all.

It may have been the heat. It could also have been the larger than usual amount of caffeine I had—2 coffees and a Coke zero. The late ice cream and then lounging on the sofa may also have added to it. Latent anxiety and regret from an interview earlier in the day may have lent a hand as well. Though I feel that a combination of the first two was likely mostly responsible.
(It didn’t help that Bruno went and spread out in front of the fan, blocking any air from reaching me!)

Anyway, now I’m wasting time writing this note while waiting for coffee to hit the head so I can start working :/