SS, my first proper crush, appeared in a dream last night.
In the dream, I was travelling to Bombay and we ended up standing next to each other at the baggage belts. We both faintly recognised each other, started talking, and then remembered fully. She didn’t like me much, for good reason, by the time we lost touch last time. So she was surprised to still be talking to me after she remembered who I was. I met her husband and her kids too. I think there were 2 or 3 kids, all nearly S’ age. That was all there was… just a brief, friendly meeting at the airport. Yet, it was really, really nice to have met her after more than two decades. I’ve been quite happy since :)
I tried looking her up on Google, but she doesn’t seem to have a public searchable profile. So, there’s no chance of actually reaching out to her and saying hello.
Continue reading Dream diary
Completed some good, fairly complicated work yesterday evening and this morning.
Weight is down to 77.1 Kg. I haven’t been lower than this since early 2015.
Someone responded to my appeal for help just as I was losing hope that they remembered me.
And I’m about to head out for a run.
Continue reading Happy Happy
Warm beer, cold pizza, comforting company.
Chilled beer, sizzling pizza, alone.
No beer, no pizza, no people.
That’s the new rule I’m trying to follow.
People are different. Some like being at the center of the widest possible social circle, others just like to keep up with a big social circle. And some, like me, prefer fewer but deeper social connections.
Group chat, like much of social media, is designed for the first two groups. Not just because they’re the heaviest, most reliable users. But also because number of connections (or followers, friends, or people in groups) is an easy metric to calculate and promote.
Depth of those connections is not such an easy metric to devise. And it is naturally capped. It’s hard to have real deep connections with more than a handful of people.
As I continue to clear the noise in my life, this is one more area where I’m making changes. I want a handful of deep connections, and reduce the noise from the many. Continue reading No group chats
It would be very nice to have a friend again. I would like that even more than a date.
—Charlie, in ‘Perks of being a wallflower’
Continue reading Wanted: A friend, again
I have to call parents. Didn’t call them this week. That’s about 45 mins gone.
Then I have to call an aunt who’s visiting her injured son in the US. She’s been calling at odd times, I haven’t answered. I guess she’s bored and lonely. 30 mins.
I haven’t spoken to the sister in a long while. May give her a ring. 5 mins, if she picks up.
And it’s been 100+ days since I fell off the wagon – I was on a streak of calling one of my old friends once a week. 10-30 mins, depending on the friend.
It’s gonna be a long day! Glad that R is going back to London, sparing me some ear capacity.
P.S.: It’s still a ‘phone call’ if I’m calling most of them on Duo, right?
I don’t need sympathy or special consideration because, ultimately, who cares? You hate me, and I hate me, too. We are on the same team. I guess what I’m saying is that maybe we could all just mind our own fucking business for once, and that when you can actually see a person’s scars, maybe be a pal and don’t pick at them.
Samantha Irby, in ‘We are never meeting in real life’
1. Run a half-marathon
3. Don’t be an asshole
4. Read a lot
6. Don’t be an asshole despite having read a lot
7. Learn to drive
8. Write better
9. Shave more often
10. Call home more often
11. Walk Hadrian’s Wall
12. Make new real-life friends.
– Sidin, on Twitter
As new year resolution lists go, this is a really good one.
I like this even more because it makes me feel good about the number of things on that list I’ve improved on in last few months and years. Here’s some notes:
Continue reading Sidin’s 2018 resolutions…