Warm beer, cold pizza, comforting company.
Chilled beer, sizzling pizza, alone.
No beer, no pizza, no people.
That’s the new rule I’m trying to follow.
People are different. Some like being at the center of the widest possible social circle, others just like to keep up with a big social circle. And some, like me, prefer fewer but deeper social connections.
Group chat, like much of social media, is designed for the first two groups. Not just because they’re the heaviest, most reliable users. But also because number of connections (or followers, friends, or people in groups) is an easy metric to calculate and promote.
Depth of those connections is not such an easy metric to devise. And it is naturally capped. It’s hard to have real deep connections with more than a handful of people.
As I continue to clear the noise in my life, this is one more area where I’m making changes. I want a handful of deep connections, and reduce the noise from the many. Continue reading No group chats
It would be very nice to have a friend again. I would like that even more than a date.
—Charlie, in ‘Perks of being a wallflower’
I have to call parents. Didn’t call them this week. That’s about 45 mins gone.
Then I have to call an aunt who’s visiting her injured son in the US. She’s been calling at odd times, I haven’t answered. I guess she’s bored and lonely. 30 mins.
I haven’t spoken to the sister in a long while. May give her a ring. 5 mins, if she picks up.
And it’s been 100+ days since I fell off the wagon – I was on a streak of calling one of my old friends once a week. 10-30 mins, depending on the friend.
It’s gonna be a long day! Glad that R is going back to London, sparing me some ear capacity.
P.S.: It’s still a ‘phone call’ if I’m calling most of them on Duo, right?
I don’t need sympathy or special consideration because, ultimately, who cares? You hate me, and I hate me, too. We are on the same team. I guess what I’m saying is that maybe we could all just mind our own fucking business for once, and that when you can actually see a person’s scars, maybe be a pal and don’t pick at them.
Samantha Irby, in ‘We are never meeting in real life’
1. Run a half-marathon
3. Don’t be an asshole
4. Read a lot
6. Don’t be an asshole despite having read a lot
7. Learn to drive
8. Write better
9. Shave more often
10. Call home more often
11. Walk Hadrian’s Wall
12. Make new real-life friends.
– Sidin, on Twitter
As new year resolution lists go, this is a really good one.
I like this even more because it makes me feel good about the number of things on that list I’ve improved on in last few months and years. Here’s some notes:
Continue reading Sidin’s 2018 resolutions…
“It is infinitely better to have a few good men than many indifferent ones.”
— George Washington
I returned from India
It was an unplanned trip, to attend to a family matter. Most of it was very boring. The smog kept me indoors, so couldn’t go for long walks. I’m off TV, so no time to waste there either, and I have no friends left in Karnal to go visit.
Reading was my only escape. I read Anita & Me, and Sapiens, and re-read a bit of Thinking fast and slow. Also read 3 issues of The Economist. Separately, read a 100+ articles in Instapaper.
I even had time to update the AcceleReader for Instapaper Chrome extension with a new feature, despite working on a really slow internet connection.
I met old friends
The visit did end on an exciting note though. On the evening before the flight, I met up with my friends from undergrad for dinner.
I had no clue what to expect. These were the people with whom I spent most, if not all, of my first 3 years of college. And yet I hadn’t seen, or spoken, to most of them in last 5-7 years.
I’ve long believed that friendship is just a bunch of shared experiences. Friendships are kept alive by creating these experiences, or reliving them. What sort of friendship would it be when we haven’t even met or spoken for better part of a decade, and not created shared experiences for even longer?
I’ll just say, I’ll need to revisit (refine?) my understanding of friendship a bit. Continue reading In other news…
Burn old wood, read old books, drink old wines, have old friends.
— Alfonso X of Castile (in today’s Economist Espresso)