Tag: Mental Health

Sugar

Today, I ate

  • a 150g bar of Dairy Milk,
  • half a McFlurry with cookie crumble,
  • three chocolate chip brioche swirls, and
  • two Cornetto cones.

These may constitute ¾th of my total calories today. All sugar. All crap. All I crave, and then hate 1.

No más azúcar. ¡Por favor!

  1. Except Dairy milk. I never hate dairy milk. I should eat less of it, but can’t hate it. ↩

81.9

That was my weight today morning – 81.9 Kg.

12 days ago it was 78.2 Kg.

That’s 12 days with injured ankles.
12 days without walking my dogs.
12 days without any exercise. No swimming, no yoga, no pilates, no cycling, and definitely no running.
12 days of over eating and sugar overdosing.
12 days of watching an unhealthy amount of TV.
12 days of not speaking to parents or friends.
Also, almost 12 days of awaiting a regret email.

12 days of being physically and emotionally crippled. 12 days of fighting, and not always winning, a battle with creeping depression.

The weight gain is just a symptom.

Continue reading 81.9

Exercising is for the head, not just body

I run, I swim, I practice yoga and pilates, and I spin & bike.

I do this to stay fit. Everyone understands that.

Few understand that these workouts are far more important to my mental health, than to my physical health. I may survive physically without these workouts – unfit, but alive. I’m not sure I’d survive mentally.

That is why I preach. Not for the physical benefits, but for the mental.

Angry

Didn’t work, or workout all day. Started it in happy, high-energy mode, but blew it.

No swimming, pilates or yoga this week. Not much stretching today either.

Need to meditate to get my head at peace. Haven’t. In weeks.

Forgot to take the torch for evening walk. Chewie went barking at some guy walking in the arboretum. By the time I got him under control, Dudley went off to the guy, who was already rattled.

I hate loud noises. Chewie’s bark is really loud. I had to scold him, badly. All bad for my mental peace.

In all the chaos, I also dropped my phone. The screen protector is in bits now, but at least it saved the screen.

Then, my favourite bluetooth headphones stopped working. I couldn’t listen to any podcasts on the walk.

Next, Dudley tore off Chewie’s lighted collar. I saw that, so picked up the collar, but lost a battery. Since I had forgotten the torch, I had to use phone flash light to look for it. Took a bit.

Dudley got a bit of a scolding. I hate scolding. I hate loud voices, including my own. Not good for my mental peace.

I want to get some things done – things to do with work, with new work, with money, with parents, with us, and more. I’m not doing anything.

I’m angry. Just angry. I need to run.

P.S.: I hate the new George O’Malley

Dear Zindagi

I seem to be having a renewed fling with Hindi movies. It could be me – looking for a change from the formula Hollywood movies – or, it could be the movies I saw – light hearted, yet not the outrageous fare the Salman or Akshay produce.

I liked Ae dil hai mushkil (ADHM). And now, 2 weeks later, I really, really liked Dear Zindagi.

ADHM felt more polished, had much better music, and had the usual play between a male and a female lead.

Yet, it was Dear Zindagi that I liked more. A lot more. Some reasons…

  • Alia Bhatt – she brings a truck load of freshness, youth, and energy to the screen. It’s been a week, and I can still close my eyes, and remember the wide variety of her expressions. Brings on a smile every time.
     
  • SRK – I was starting to get tired of him in lead, primary male roles. And he goes an reinvents himself, and how. A small cameo in ADHM was brilliant. A full role, but as a second character to a young, female, primary lead – and he pulled it off effortlessly. He was strong and present, as his own character, while not stealing an iota of focus from the main character – Alia’s. Which brings me to…
     
  • Sole female lead. I didn’t think that Bollywood could produce a movie with a strong, solo female lead. At least not in my lifetime. And here we have one. Not just a solo, strong female lead. But one that’s neither an arch-feminist waging the war on the world, nor a mother-to-the-world leading the charge. She’s just a regular, young girl, living (the complicated & troubled, yet sometimes joyous life) in modern India. Hats off to the producer and director for taking on this challenge, and executing it without heavy melodrama.
     
  • Mental health. It took a long while, but glad to have a bollywood movie bring a focus on mental health into the mainstream. Usually, mental health issues are portrayed either with jail-like mental asylums full of odd characters, or with dark, dangerous, gloomy, brooding characters.
    It was pleasant to see it shown in such a different light. Yes, normal, successful, seemingly happy people, surrounded by friends, can still have mental health problems. And yes, it’s not just normal, but important to see a therapist/consultant to work on those problems, the same way we do with our physical health issues. Thanks again, to the writers, the director, and the producers, for bringing mental health in focus, in such a non-intimidating, yet serious manner.
     
  • Bombay & Goa. My top two favourite places in India. The only two places, I’ve long stated on record, that I can live in if I ever return to India.
    The movie highlighted some of the best bits of both places for me, without focussing on the usual landmarks and tourist spots. More than the sights, it was the people, the culture, of both places that I love. That I’ve missed. Was a warm blessing to see them portrayed on screen. Not perfect, not complete, yet true … to what was shown.
     
  • Friends. I don’t have any. I use to, not anymore. So, it really warmed my heart to see such a close, happy bunch of friends. Fighting, forgiving, fun, friends.
    Friends, you can speak to. Or not. Who give you an embrace, and a shrug. Who care about you, but not just for the gossip. Just, friends.
     
  • Family. Again, the movie didn’t stick to one of the two standard strains of family relations – the god like parents in front of whom everyone bends eventually, or the devils of parents against whom everyone rebels, till parents come to their senses or the kids die.
    Families are complicated. Relationships are complicated. It was good to see them shown as such, and not in one of the two simple baskets. We’re both right and wrong in our relationships. Often at the same time. Some relationships are special, some even more so. The strength of that bond, sometimes, has nothing to do with time spent together, or closeness of the relationship in traditional terms. And sometimes, relationships that should be close, aren’t – me & sis, for example. Often, some friendships get closer than even the closest relationships we were born into.That’s just how we are. Such is life. Such, it was, in the movie. Thank you!
     
  • Ae Zindagi Gale Laga Le, Take 2. I liked the music of ADHM more than that of Dear Zindagi. Still, there are a few songs in this movie that’ve quickly made their way to my most played playlist. This one deserves a special mention, considering the original was (is) a long time favourite. (Take 1 is brilliant as well)
     

Love you zindagi…. (and you too, that small corner of Bollywood)