That feeling of impending disaster didn’t go all day. Wasn’t good at work. Wasn’t good at anything. It just kept eating inside.
It didn’t help that tinnitus is bad, haven’t been able to speak to parents, and I won’t ever see Bruno again after tomorrow.
Finished watching ‘A star is born’ just now. It was so good. Then he killed himself. And left the dog alone.
I hate movies with sad endings. My life is hard enough as it is, I want happy feels, not sad endings. I really really hate great movies with sad endings. I should’ve stopped watching with 30 mins to go when R asked me to.
I admired how they touched on tinnitus and mental health. People without tinnitus just don’t understand what it is to live with this constant fucking buzz inside the head all the time! There’s no off switch. It can’t be drowned out. The best I can do is to get the head full of other shit so I don’t have the mental capacity to cater to the noise. That’s one reason why I work long hours.
It’s not the first Bradley Cooper movie I’ve liked. It’s the first time I’ve heard anything by Lady Gaga, and definitely the first time I’ve seen her. She is brilliant. I might check out some of her songs now.
Speaking of Bradley Cooper, Silver Lining Playbook may be a good antidote to this sad movie. It’s late though, and we’ve got to drive to Nottingham tomorrow to say bye to Bruno. So should I watch the movie or start reading the book?
Watched the Ronde. It’s my favourite race of the season. Niki Tepstra won, and Quickstep confirmed their dominance with 1 & 3 on the podium. My favourite was Mads Pedersen from Trek, who finished second on the podium. His was a reward for grit. Just refused to give up.
We went for a walk in Puttenham common. It was nice to be out in a different area – fresh air, open countryside, and no rain. One last walk with just Chewie before Duds arrived.
Boys with their chews
Duds arrived, and we had a good evening together. They chewed chews, played, hugged me and slept, went for a walk, had dinner, had Kong, and are now snoring away.
One downside is that there’s now two different fart scents I’ve to suffer 🙁
I went to town for dinner. Just a burger at 5 Guys, but at least I got out of the house.
Still no running or meditating.
Only saw one episode of Grey’s anatomy. Saw War Horse. It was ok, but not worthy of all the hype around it. Felt like they were just filming a play, instead of adapting it for screen.
The book got to the good part of the story.
Thinking of giving the scotch a break tonight. Might just have some milk instead.
May have coffee tomorrow morning if I wake up early enough. Duds is an early waker, so I’m hoping he wakes me up too.
It’s raining now, though, and we have a yellow warning for run ask through the night and morning. ↩
I seem to be having a renewed fling with Hindi movies. It could be me – looking for a change from the formula Hollywood movies – or, it could be the movies I saw – light hearted, yet not the outrageous fare the Salman or Akshay produce.
I liked Ae dil hai mushkil (ADHM). And now, 2 weeks later, I really, really liked Dear Zindagi.
ADHM felt more polished, had much better music, and had the usual play between a male and a female lead.
Yet, it was Dear Zindagi that I liked more. A lot more. Some reasons…
Alia Bhatt – she brings a truck load of freshness, youth, and energy to the screen. It’s been a week, and I can still close my eyes, and remember the wide variety of her expressions. Brings on a smile every time.
SRK – I was starting to get tired of him in lead, primary male roles. And he goes an reinvents himself, and how. A small cameo in ADHM was brilliant. A full role, but as a second character to a young, female, primary lead – and he pulled it off effortlessly. He was strong and present, as his own character, while not stealing an iota of focus from the main character – Alia’s. Which brings me to…
Sole female lead. I didn’t think that Bollywood could produce a movie with a strong, solo female lead. At least not in my lifetime. And here we have one. Not just a solo, strong female lead. But one that’s neither an arch-feminist waging the war on the world, nor a mother-to-the-world leading the charge. She’s just a regular, young girl, living (the complicated & troubled, yet sometimes joyous life) in modern India. Hats off to the producer and director for taking on this challenge, and executing it without heavy melodrama.
Mental health. It took a long while, but glad to have a bollywood movie bring a focus on mental health into the mainstream. Usually, mental health issues are portrayed either with jail-like mental asylums full of odd characters, or with dark, dangerous, gloomy, brooding characters.
It was pleasant to see it shown in such a different light. Yes, normal, successful, seemingly happy people, surrounded by friends, can still have mental health problems. And yes, it’s not just normal, but important to see a therapist/consultant to work on those problems, the same way we do with our physical health issues. Thanks again, to the writers, the director, and the producers, for bringing mental health in focus, in such a non-intimidating, yet serious manner.
Bombay & Goa. My top two favourite places in India. The only two places, I’ve long stated on record, that I can live in if I ever return to India.
The movie highlighted some of the best bits of both places for me, without focussing on the usual landmarks and tourist spots. More than the sights, it was the people, the culture, of both places that I love. That I’ve missed. Was a warm blessing to see them portrayed on screen. Not perfect, not complete, yet true … to what was shown.
Friends. I don’t have any. I use to, not anymore. So, it really warmed my heart to see such a close, happy bunch of friends. Fighting, forgiving, fun, friends.
Friends, you can speak to. Or not. Who give you an embrace, and a shrug. Who care about you, but not just for the gossip. Just, friends.
Family. Again, the movie didn’t stick to one of the two standard strains of family relations – the god like parents in front of whom everyone bends eventually, or the devils of parents against whom everyone rebels, till parents come to their senses or the kids die.
Families are complicated. Relationships are complicated. It was good to see them shown as such, and not in one of the two simple baskets. We’re both right and wrong in our relationships. Often at the same time. Some relationships are special, some even more so. The strength of that bond, sometimes, has nothing to do with time spent together, or closeness of the relationship in traditional terms. And sometimes, relationships that should be close, aren’t – me & sis, for example. Often, some friendships get closer than even the closest relationships we were born into.That’s just how we are. Such is life. Such, it was, in the movie. Thank you!
Ae Zindagi Gale Laga Le, Take 2. I liked the music of ADHM more than that of Dear Zindagi. Still, there are a few songs in this movie that’ve quickly made their way to my most played playlist. This one deserves a special mention, considering the original was (is) a long time favourite. (Take 1 is brilliant as well)
Love you zindagi…. (and you too, that small corner of Bollywood)
The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life.
But it ain’t about how hard you’re hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!