Terrible sleep

Kept drifting in and out of sleep most of the night. There are numerous moments through the night that I remember being uncomfortably awake in. There are also lots of blank spaces between those moments, so I was likely asleep then. It was all too discomforting. I don’t feel mentally rested at all.

It may have been the heat. It could also have been the larger than usual amount of caffeine I had—2 coffees and a Coke zero. The late ice cream and then lounging on the sofa may also have added to it. Latent anxiety and regret from an interview earlier in the day may have lent a hand as well. Though I feel that a combination of the first two was likely mostly responsible.
(It didn’t help that Bruno went and spread out in front of the fan, blocking any air from reaching me!)

Anyway, now I’m wasting time writing this note while waiting for coffee to hit the head so I can start working :/

Yesterday

I had a brilliant start to the day.

Woke up at 5:30. Stretched, made coffee, made bed, gave the boy his break and breakfast, and started working by 6 AM.
Worked for a couple of hours—good strong output.
At 8 went to loo, caught up on email, brushed teeth and got ready for a run.
Ran a quick 4 miles. Happy, strong run.
Showered, shaved, and got dressed.
Got to station in time for the planned 10:03 train.

Coffee. check
Work. check
Run. check
10:03 train. check

Happy, successful start to the day :)

Continue reading Yesterday

The siesta / the coffee nap

Today was an 8/10 day.

I had a productive morning of work, and a good round of ankle exercises, stretching and wobble board (~4 mins nonstop). Then the boys and I went for a brisk walk in the woods. The wind was blowing from the north, so the wheat husk didn’t bother me much on the walk today. Did a few more stretches on return, then the boy and I had lunch.

If the day had ended there, it’d have still been a 6/10 day1.

Lunch was two courses—a toast with egg mayo and some bhaji (minus pav), and two pieces of oven cooked chicken fillet. It was heavy. By the time I finished lunch, made and drank coffee, my brain was shutting down and eyes were closing. I put on British F1 practice session on the TV but could barely keep my eyes open.

With the boy snuggled up next to me, there was no point fighting the sleep. So, I set an alarm for 15 mins later, took off the specs, and lay down next to him on the (sleep corner) of the sofa. 15 mins later I snoozed the alarm. 9 more mins. Next time the alarm rang, I was already partly awake. I stayed on the sofa, enjoying the boy’s hug, and read the latest Stratechery article (It’s about Shopify—one of the new tech companies I quite admire). By the time the article finished, I was wide awake, full of energy and raring to go.

If the morning work session was productive, the evening session was doubly so. I wasn’t just getting a lot of work done, I was even enjoying it—both the work and the feeling. It was awesome. I took a break midway to walk around a bit. I also cut and diced some apples during the break—treats for me and the boys. Then it was back upstairs for more work. Finally, I had to stop working and tear myself away from the desk at 19:30, an hour after my ‘stop work’ alarm.

R had gone to get the cold pizza for dinner, so the boy and I spent 10 mins walking around in the backyard—smelling the flowers, the clean breeze, and making sure I achieve my step target.

It was a good day.

Continue reading The siesta / the coffee nap

Listening to the body

Despite the worries (which all turned out real), I ended up having a decent day yesterday. I wrote to Axc, but never heard back from them. I’m trying to make myself accept their decision. I also failed the blood test—joint lowest ever score of 131 g/l. On the other hand, I did end up getting a fair amount of work done. I also enjoyed the run in the evening—35 mins of easy run finished with 20 mins of fartlek. I ended the day very tired, slightly disheartened (I’d expected the reply from Axc at end of day), but fairly satisfied. I even finished reading a book in the bed before sleeping.

Today began well—woke to Chewie snuggled up between my legs. Worked for a couple of hours, then went downstairs for a bit of stretching, refreshing, and to pick up Dudley—today is Dudley Wednesday :)

By the time I returned back upstairs, it was already over 3 hours since I’d woken up. The morning coffee had worn off, and I was feeling surprisingly drowsy. These are usually my freshest, most productive hours. This could be due to the hay fever tab, or an effect of the run and foam rolling last evening.

I could have made another coffee, and warded the drowsiness off. But, for once, I decided to listen to the body and give it a break. I had no immediate deadlines, and I had already done over 2 hours of productive work. So, I went downstairs, drank a lot of water, got under the covers, called the boys onto the bed, set an alarm for 90 mins, and we all went to sleep1 :)

It was a beautiful, warm sleep with both boys snuggled on either side. I woke up refreshed. Not just the mind, even the legs and body felt a lot recovered. We drank more water, and went for a walk. Followed it up with lunch, another short rest, and then back to work2. It’s been another super productive 3 hours now, and I am back to being satisfied. And happy. Mostly.

Continue reading Listening to the body

Farewell, mug.

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My favourite coffee mug is no more :'(

R1 dropped it ages ago—breaking the handle, chipping the lip, and cracking the body. I superglued back the handle, and kept using it. The glue is good for regular use but comes off every few weeks, specially when using warm soapy water to clean.

Last night it broke again while I was cleaning it. This time it won’t be stuck back. With a heavy heart, I’ve decided to say my thanks and put the mug to rest.

You served me well, señor mug. We had many good times together, all involving that great drink we both love—coffee. Thank you for your service. Thanks for the company. Thanks for the coffee. Rest in peace.

Continue reading Farewell, mug.

The first day of summer

Lazy morning in bed reading.


Long walk with boys in the Chantries woods – my favourite running space in Guildford. Can’t run, so made it a hilly walk with the boys.

Cool shower, warm shave.

A spicy naked burrito for lunch, drowned with a free Coke zero.


A pint by the river to soak the sun, reading a saucy, spunky book in public 😉

Followed it up with an ice cream from the van, enjoyed while walking by the river – through waggy dogs, playful kids, picnicking families, and a few sunning beauties.


Finally, had a lovely cortado before the ride home, and picked up a biscotti for later.

Now, back with the boy, with cuddles, and whining, belly rubs and bum scratches.
The best bit: no vomit anywhere == the grub stayed in his tummy 🙂

Oh, and back watching the French Open. (Djoko just won his match)

Won a small, hard, mental battle.. with myself

I didn’t have any coffee or Coke zero today. My caffeine consumption today was limited to one mug of tea.

I didn’t have any peanut butter today.

I didn’t have any milk chocolate today. I did have 4 squares of Lindt’s 90% dark chocolate.

It’s been hard.

I’m addicted to these three things. I usually have at least 2 mugs of coffee, and at least 1 can of Coke zero a day. Usually more. I’ve been finishing a 600g jar of peanut butter a week for last two months. And twice in the last week, I’ve had 3 bars[^1] of Dairy milk in a single 24 hour slot.

It was hard staying without them all day. It was harder knowing that most of them were within easy reach – I had all of them except the chocolate stocked at home.

I’ve succeeded, so far. I’ve also paid for the success. Fighting the lure of these addictions had a toll on my mental capacity. I didn’t go for the run. I spent most of the day reading, or listening to music and podcasts. It was a very unproductive day. But so have been many recently. At least today I got to have a little success starting away from the addictions.

Tomorrow’s another day.

Convenience trumps taste


Whey protein shaken in water trumps my berries & banana smoothie with whey protein.
Fried eggs trump scrambled eggs and omelettes.

Coffee made in clever dripper trumps coffee made in Chemex.

Continue reading Convenience trumps taste