The rules do not apply

It’s a brilliant book. It’s amongst the best written books I’ve ever read. It’s got the magic that made me smile, nod my head in agreement, screech inside, and be sad. Be very sad.

It’s probably the best book I’ll read this year.

That’s not good. Because it’s over. I didn’t want it to be over. I finished it in three sittings, but I want it to go on for ever.

It also means that anything I read for the next while will feel like it’s taking something precious away. Like eating a dessert after having a steak at Le relais de venise. When I want to savour the taste of that steak in my mouth, anything I eat next will spoil it. And yet, I can’t go without eating forever. Or without reading. Like she says: “nowhere to go but down”.

For another, I’m already in a rump. I’m not happy. I’m not working. I’m not working out. I’m still injured. I’m gaining weight at pound-a-day. And all my relationships are already on that slope that has nowhere to go but down. I didn’t need another source of sadness. And such a beautifully written source, at it.

:(

Everybody knows…

It’s the opening title song in the movie Justice League.

I’m haunted (besotted) with it. Can’t just get over it.

Especially love this line in the lyrics:

Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died

Written by someone whose understanding of family, and (fear of) loss is similar to mine :)

Continue reading Everybody knows…

30 mins of 📈 anxiety

Lost my wallet. Looked all over the house, in the car, amongst the clothes, and anywhere else I could think of. Nothing.

Panic 😓

Drove to the cafe to get coffee. Tried to pay by contactless on mobile. Credit card declined.

More panic 😧

Drove to the sports park (Gym) – the last place I’d been with the wallet. Checked if anyone had returned a lost wallet. Nada.

😨

Drove back home.

One last check – between the cushions of the sofa.

And there it is. Hidden tight between the cushions.

*breathing again* 😌

Continue reading 30 mins of 📈 anxiety