Easy switch

A friend1 recently mentioned how many of our old acquaintances self identify as libertarians, and how comfortable many of them are with authoritarianism.

In my head, this played out as…

I’m smarter than you, don’t tell me what to do, how to live. (Libertarian)

…turns easily into…

I’m smarter than you, I will tell you what to do, how to live. (Authoritarian)

Of course, there’s a big execution gap between telling people what to do, and forcing people to do it. In other words, between being an armchair authoritarian and the real one chaining up the country. Supporting the real one provides a comfortable bridge over that gap.

  1. The friend is an IIT-IIM grad. The acquaintances are all IIM, if not IIT-IIM grads. Perhaps the superior status signalling provided by these institutions is a trigger for the “I’m smarter than you…” base that leads to the two isms. ↩

Faith. Blind?

Parents are shit scared. They realise how bad is the situation. Their network is full of infected and suffering people. They’ve lost friends and acquaintances. They will not hear one word against the God or his organisation.

Friends are shit scared. They’ve suffered and recovered. Their parents and siblings are infected but stable. They’re scared, not of Covid, but of the God who demands and commands this blind loyalty. They’re scared of what’s happening to the nation, the society, and their future and safety in it.

I fear for both.

I’m sad that I’m so far from both.

Is it melancholy?

Second night of insomnia and anxiety. Too much change. Missing Maisie. Missing Bruno. Missing my daffodils at bottom of the drive flower bed. Missing my chocolate and chili begonias. Missing my house number sign. Missing my rustic, old but trusty, clay brick driveway. Missing the beloved, if aged, civic. Missing parents. Missing an India I wanted to go back to. Missing the old house. Missing dad’s shop. Missing Bombay. Missing Goa.

Not liking the new India. Not liking parents’ new neighbourhood. Not liking the new car’s blazing red colour. Not liking the scope creeping driveway contractor. Not liking suppressing suggestions and feedback at work to keep the peace.

Not happy that it’s too hot for a duvet and too cold for no duvet. Not happy about my weight. Not happy about the lack of running. Not happy about all the chocolate. Not happy that I haven’t worked on my apps in months. Not happy that I’ve been watching too much TV, and reading too little.

Cascade

Three weeks ago Sophie gave a shout-out, on work chat, about a good yoga session by Rob.

Curious about the session, and missing my regular yoga classes, I attended Rob’s yoga session the next week. It was very good, and not too hard. I really enjoyed it.

By the end of the session, I also knew how bad a shape I’m in. Two years ago, a session like this would have been just a good warm-up for me.

Inspired by that one session, and disappointed by my fitness, I added short yoga/pilates sessions to my post walk routine. Nothing special. Found a few simple 15-20 mins videos on YouTube, and committed to working out with one after the noon walk everyday.

The semi regular yoga triggered the meditation feels in me. So, this week I started by doing my first meditation session of 2021.

The second yoga session with Rob, and a week of post walk yoga and pilates made the legs ache slightly. It was a mild, sweet pain. It brought back fond memories of the sweet doms pain after running. So, twice this week, I dusted off the running shoes and got going. First runs of 2021.

And that’s how the good stuff cascaded, from a simple shout-out about yoga by Sophie to regular yoga, some meditation and a bit of running. Here’s hoping it keeps cascading…

Five checkmark day


It was a better week on the personal front. Ran twice, first runs in 2021. Mediated once, first in 2021. Cajoled R into making a decision on the car, one way or the other. Rested and read. Slipped a bit on the sleep front, made up a bit today.

The black spot was the weight. Recorded a high weight of 91.3kg, and a high weekly average of 90.8kg.

First run

Last night I went for my first run in 2021. First run since early December.

It was a pleasant surprise how easy it all was. The body still remembers how to run. It just took over effortlessly, tapping away at 180bpm. Sure, I’ve lost a fair bit of fitness. The HR was higher than it should’ve been; though steady not spiking. The pace was deliberately slow; though I finished with 100m of pleasant strides. The posture was good, mostly tall, slight rounding in lower back, lifting knees, and on the forefoot.

It was good. It felt good. I’m happy.

Continue reading First run