I did a taster read of Mark Manson’s book on not giving a fuck. In the first chapter he goes on about how people give too many fucks and become overwhelmed and unhappy, or give no fucks and become uncaring assholes.
I thought about it on Chewie’s morning walk.
Sure there are people who fall in one of those two catagories—too many fucks given and not enough fucks given. But I don’t think most people fall in either of these. Most people give just the right the amount of fucks that they can afford/handle.
The problem isn’t with how many fucks we give, but what do we give a fuck about.
Often the choice is between giving a fuck about things/people that are
- important but hard to satisfy, and
- easy to satisfy but peripheral
In such a choice, easy wins most times. And that’s what causes the unhappiness.
As an individual choice, giving a fuck for something easy results in an easy win, and provides a nice emotional boost. But when the life becomes full of too many easy wins, and none of the important ones, that’s when the trouble starts. That’s when the heart starts hating even the wins. That’s what leads to the unhappiness.
[ Perhaps the book will move on to this distinction. After all I’ve just rushed through the first chapter for now :) ]
I recollected loads of examples/anecdotes from my own life and from people I know when thinking about this. For now, I’m giving a fuck and not writing them down. I need to continue having a few people in my life who give a fuck about me, even if tangentially :)