Pleading with Chewie not to thank me after…

Pleading with Chewie not to thank me after every meal by licking my face, and leaving it smelling like his dry food.

Me: What if a super hot model walks in the door, and wants to lick my face? What’ll she think if it smells of your food?

Partner (translating Chewie’s squirms): Why would you want a super model who doesn’t like the smell of a dog?

Me: No, she loves dogs, and will think I’m eating his food! He’s thin enough to convince anyone he’s starving, and my face smells of his food!

Partner, whom I constantly harass to let me increase Chewie’s food: *Bugger off both of you*

I’ll record this as a win.