While walking Chewie, my thoughts moved ahead to the upcoming annual trip to Flanders for de Ronde. It was more of an imaginary scenario playing out than thoughts, and here’s how it went:

I’m at the Eurostar-EU immigration counter and the officer opposite me is giving me suspicious looks.

Officer: Sir, I see you’ve visited Belgium this same time of the year for 3 years now. May I know the purpose of this visit?

Me: It’s for a cycling event, Tour of Flanders, that happens this time of the year, every year, in Belgium.

Officer (smiling faintly, but suspiciously): Oh, you’re heading for de Ronde? I might be coming to watch it too. Who do you think is going to win it this year?

Me (smiling a bit more): Well, that depends on where you are from.

Officer: Very well, let’s say I’m from Flanders.

Me: In that case, the finishing order would be…

1. Boonen (Flemish)
2. Cancellara (popular, non-Flemish favourite)
3. Tepstra (Dutch, outside favourite, riding for a Belgian team, probably 2nd in line after Boonen)
4. Kwiatkowski (listening a bit to my heart)
5. Chavanel (perennial outside bet)

Officer: Interesting! Now, let’s say I was from Wallonia.

Me: In that case, the finishing order would be…

1. Gilbert (a Walloon, doesn’t matter if he actually rides or saves his legs for the Ardennes classics!)
2. Cancellara (not Flemish)
3. Chavanel (French, and perennial outside bet)
4. Kwiatkowski (listening a bit to my heart)
5. Tepstra (Dutch, outside favourite, riding for a Belgian team)
6. Boonen (Flemish)

Officer: Ok. What if I was an ordinary fella from … *checks my passport* … India?

Me: In that case, the finishing order would be…

1. Sachin Tendulkar (God, and, in India, always wins everything!)
2. Lance Armstrong (probably the most well-known cyclist in non-cycling circles in India. Doesn’t matter that he isn’t riding)
3. Pele (we’re already into the backup list of non-cricket int’l sports people)
4. Maradona (still in the list)
5. Messi (getting to end of the list)
6. Virat Kohli (if you must have another name, I hear he might just be the next cricketing demi-god)

Officer: C’mon! Tell me who do you want really to be in that finishing order?

Me: In that case, the finishing order would be…

1. Cancellara (personal favourite, heart and head)
2. Boonen (2nd personal favourite, plus I want to see a duel between Spartacus and Tommeke)
3. Kwiatkowski (personal favourite from the young bloods, and in not too bad a shape)
4. Tepstra (Dutch, outside favourite, riding for a Belgian team, probably 2nd in line after Boonen)
5. Chavanel (perennial outside bet at Flanders)
6. not-Sagan (anyone whose name is not Peter Sagan)

Officer (smiling again): I’ll take that list! Have a good trip, and see you on the Paterberg! *stamps passport*