I’ve invented a machine with the power to pause the space-time continuum and make minutes feel like days.
I shall call it the Turbo Trainer.
The mornings when it is too cold and grim to go running are the mornings you feel king of the world after you’ve done the run anyway.
Reasons you lose a bike race:
85% – you didn’t stand on the pedals hard enough
14.99% – you got schooled by someone clever
0.01% – your bike
Back with red cheeks from icy winds.
You cannot get it sitting on a sofa.
Top tip to survive non-stop 200 mile ride:
Start: go steady
Middle: keep it steady
Final 50 miles: evaluate steadiness
Jacky Durand reckons riders could be disqualified for using phones during race. That would be a popular move.
– Daniel Friebe quipping on rider morale, Milan – San Remo 2013
It’s snowing so much this could be biathlon. If so, can I be shot first?
– Koen De Kort during half time at Milan – San Remo 2013
When my eyeball froze, that’s when I lost my shit.
– Robbie Hunter about weather conditions, Milan – San Remo 2013
It’s an early spring sportive when the queue outside men’s restroom is longer than one outside the women’.
Also, likely, there are more men in the queue outside women’s restroom than women.
It’s an early spring sportive when that clickity-clack sound coming down the hallway is far likelier to be a lad in his cleats, than a lass in her heels.